I want to start by exploring the pillar that encompasses creativity. “But Pam,” I can hear you say, “I am not creative! All of my pictures of dogs end up looking like alien sheep, and when I drew a house, it looked haunted!” We have to start by broadening our perspective of creativity. First of all, creativity is for you. It doesn’t matter what others think—who asked them, anyway? Do you like drawing? Doodling? Painting? 

If you find yourself answering no, I encourage you to look inward and ask yourself, “Do I really not like doing this activity? Or do I not like the judgment I’ve received from others?” Maybe you can remember a time when you felt proud of a drawing you created until your great aunt Mabel said, “Oh honey, don’t quit your day job,” and you were too young to even know what a day job was?

 If after reflecting, your answer is still, “Pam, I just don’t like to draw,” then that’s no problem. There are zillions of ways to be creative! Maybe you enjoy writing, coloring, woodworking, interior decorating, making collages, painting miniatures, knitting, crocheting, singing, flower arranging, dancing, playing an instrument, quilting, or sewing. Maybe you feel most imaginative when experimenting in the kitchen. I mean, have you tried a whisper of flaky sea salt sprinkled on top of a chocolate cookie? Incredible.

The list of creative pursuits is long and diverse, but each activity helps us achieve a state of “flow.” Csíkszentmihályi, a Hungarian-American psychologist, defined “flow” as the mental state when someone is fully present, fully engaged, and losing track of time due to the level of attention and awareness. After experiencing a flow state, people typically feel more centered, more grounded, and less scattered. Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

This flow state also happens when we learn something new: a new language, a new hobby, a new set of interesting facts. However, the key to inducing a learning flow is to balance the challenge of learning new things with the support needed to accomplish the learning. Set yourself up for success and you’ll find yourself reminded that the world is a beautiful, magical place with so much to see, learn, and do. In the words of poet Mary Oliver, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Living this pillar of self-care requires you to honor your flow by protecting your peace. We can’t let the Aunt Mabels of the world hold us back from living out our creative birthright. Self-advocacy plays a critical role in supporting all the pillars of true self-care. In a nutshell, self-advocacy is standing up for yourself. It’s saying no to things you don’t want to do. It’s setting appropriate boundaries. It’s reminding yourself and others that you are worthy of love, care, compassion, and grace. It’s about not settling for anything less than what you are worth. And trust me, you are so inherently valuable and precious. 

Find a moment this week to try out a new form of creative expression. Suspend any expectations of an end result and focus on the way that it feels to enter a playful and imaginative space. Maybe you’ll even find your flow.